From Something Has Definitely Changed In Me ,
Q(1): It becomes an obsession.
R: Yes. We talked about that, about being fascinated first of all, and then becoming obsessed. First of all one becomes curious – curiosity is inherent – about what it is to be a human being. I call this being interested. When this interest develops into a fascination, one does not have to generate enthusiasm, as is the case when one is merely interested. Fascination pulls one forward. Not many people become fascinated with life, the universe, and what it is to be a human being. They eventually lose interest. Fascination makes it easy to investigate. Fascination leads to obsession.
I remember you saying some time ago that you had become obsessed – which I was very pleased to hear. It may initially sound strange, to someone who does not realise what we are talking about, to have as one’s aim becoming obsessed. However, one does not have any success with becoming free from the Human Condition without becoming obsessed. That is what swings one through into ‘something else’.
RICHARD: Obviously you are interested in this area of experiential research into consciousness, therefore various weird phenomena can be triggered off by your intense interest and unwavering desire to manifest something – that is: to make something happen. This is the correct approach. One has to have an extreme conviction that it is imperative that it is me who will evince a final and complete condition that will ‘deliver the goods’ so longed for by humanity for millennia. There is a curious decision made, deep in your psyche, that it is you who will dedicate your life to solving ‘The Mystery of Life’ by actually living it. This decision makes this goal the number one priority – all other matters are secondary and are used to serve this primary purpose.
At times this audacity – that it will be me who does it – approaches megalomania … after all, one thinks, who am I to think that I can break through the impasse that has baffled humankind for millennia? As long as one does not succumb to delusions of grandeur, a healthy dose of what appears to be megalomania is appropriate … otherwise one is held back by the mediocrity of those who say you can not do it. You can. The only requirement is that one be a human being – and that I hereby devote my entire life to breaking through to the perfection and peace that is lying open all around right now … if only I had the eyes to see it. It takes great courage and fortitude to fly in the face of all those ‘would be’s’ and ‘want to be’s’ who, alas, only talk about it. One has to do it … because, after all is said and done, it is my life that I am living.
Be wary of Autonomic Shutdown. See also Diligence and perseverance.