VINEETO: The desire for sex is a complex issue in that it is both socially conditioned and instinctually ingrained. Instinctually the male seeks to spread his semen as far and wide as possible whereas the female looks for a strong, faithful and controllable partner to raise the offspring. Both on the social and on the instinctual level, this programming is responsible for the systemic misunderstanding, disappointment and dissatisfaction between the genders. Because the instinctual sexual drives are accompanied by powerful chemical processes in the brain, the battle between the sexes is so endemic.
At first it is difficult to observe these instinctual passions while they are happening but the more you neither repress nor express your emotions and passions and simply observe and examine your feelings, you’ll slowly get the hang of it – they are, after all, feelings and can be observed, labelled and explored as such. Finding out about one’s sexual social role conditioning as well as one’s sexual instinctual drive is a fascinating business once you learn not to act on the impulse but sit with the experience and milk it for all the information about ‘you’ that you can.
VINEETO: I am asking because when I investigated my expectations and desires that I knew by past experience would inevitably lead to disappointment and sorrow, I was then able to chuck both my expectation and disappointment, both my desire and sorrow out the window. And once I stopped doing what caused me to feel sorrowful, then the fear of this sorrow re-occurring also disappeared. Given that my aim was to become free of malice and sorrow, it became obvious to me that I also had to become free from the dreams, hopes, desires and greed that were the cause of my sorrow.
RESPONDENT: How did you handle the instinctual desire of sex/lust? Isn’t it very lucrative? How can you let go of that?
PETER: Well, in hindsight it was very easy to ‘let go of’. The only thing that is needed is to experience the dark side of the sexual predatory instinct – as in allow oneself to uninhibitedly feel the full range of feelings and deep-seated emotions associated with the sexual predatory instinct – and that experience itself was enough for me to want to let go of it as though it were a hot brick I was holding in the palm of my hand, as it were.