These are ongoing notes on my attempts to deliberately induce a PCE as well as tap into pure intent and have it inform everyday life.

Incidentally, just before/ just as the PCE starts to wear off, if one unravels (metaphorically) a ‘golden thread’ or ‘clew’, as one is slipping back into the real-world, an intimate connection is thus established betwixt the pristine-purity of an actual innocence and the near-purity of the sincerity of naiveté.

Sep 14, 2022

While contemplating Never not this moment 1

  • Can immediately taste the “arriving here” of PCE reports (aka. stillness)
    • Music is raw; visual ambiance is getting to be brilliant … all the while happening more in the now-still “arena”
      • The concomitant stillness is very palpable; revealed via the cessation of hitherto-existant “movement”
      • It is the “moving” (in time) Identity that obscures it all otherwise.
  • Ergo, stillness, as I experienced in a PCE, is a clew.
  • The clew (or the end of it that is close to the PCE) is accessed by seeing (via contemplation and curiosity) if this moment is the same 1 (over time), with only events on it changing (over time).
    • Otherwise, that which appears to be changing “behind” is the Identity
      • Realizing (successfully ‘seeing’) it not to be changing ▶️ identity going into abeyance

Sep 16, 2022

Sep 19, 2022

  • Tapping into pure intent via becoming Naiveté has a similar feel:

    Apperception is very much like what one sees with one’s peripheral vision as opposed to the intent focus of normal or central vision. This moment of soft, ungathered sensuosity – apperception – contains a vast understanding, an utter cognisance, that is lost as soon as one adjusts one’s mind to accommodate the feeling-tone and subverts the crystal-clear objectivity into an ontological ‘being’ … a connotative ‘thing-in-itself’. –

Sep 20, 2022

  • The moment that softness/gentleness (which itself resulted from my investigation of a trigger and the concomitant chipping-away of a part of “me”) segued into humility a flashing red light popped up as if to give me a warning sign. I took a step back and looked at the feeling, and saw it to be the other side of pride (pride was involved in that trigger). At that point it became tricky to distinguish humility from a naive disposition (gentleness, softness). But, having now seen the spiritual lure of humility (as Richard says, humility is just a trick “I” use to survive 3 ), I can better distinguish it now.

  • From “Sep 14, 2022” above:

    The clew (or the end of it that is close to the PCE) is accessed by seeing (via contemplation and curiosity) if this moment is the same 1 (over time), with only events on it changing (over time).

    I’m going to now say that: the clew (or the end of it that is close to “me”) is accessed by reinvigorating this gentleness/softness.

    As if pure intent, then, is a connection from this gentleness/softness to the stillness of this moment.

Sep 24, 2022

  • I believe I made the connection between pure intent and what happens during investigation of the Social Identity. It comes down to seeing the third alternative derived from the purity of the stillness, and using that to (concomitantly) see through the opposites (the non-naive parts of ‘me’):

    In actualism the third alternative always applies. ‘Good’ and ‘Bad’, ‘Right’ and ‘Wrong’, ‘Virtue’ and ‘Sin’, ‘Hope’ and ‘Despair’, ‘Gratitude’ and ‘Resentment’, and so on, all disappear in the perfection of purity. Purity is the hall-mark of the stillness that is the essential character of the infinitude of the universe … which is the life-giving foundation of all that is apparent. Unless the factuality of the existence of the third alternative is firmly grasped, one is forever fated to shuttle back and forth between the opposites.

    • Srid to Rick:

      Yes. I like how you framed not only ‘myself’ but also ‘society’ as center-stage. In a way, they are both the same thing (as Richard says “I” am Humanity and Humanity is “me”) … hence, it is impossible to “deprogram” oneself without accessing something outside of that center-stage.

      So ‘outside of myself’ means not only ‘outside of myself’ but also ‘outside of society’,

Richard: Put succinctly: the moment (this moment) in which event ‘A’ happens is the exact same moment (this moment) in which event ‘B’ happens … it is only the events which change/move/flow and not the moment itself (eternity).


RICHARD: G’day No. 44,

Your initial email – reproduced here as #161xx further above – almost prompted me to write a comment, when you posted it, as it clearly pinpoints the difference between a caused/ conditional enjoyment (‘I had a lot of fun tonight with friends’/ ‘all we did was sit, talk, and joke around’) and an uncaused/ unconditional enjoyment (‘the fascination that it is this moment sets in’/ ‘I am once more enjoying life’).

(A caused, or conditional, enjoyment and appreciation has a beginning and an end – it is dependent upon situations and > circumstances – whereas an uncaused, or unconditional, enjoyment and appreciation is perpetual, aeonian (beginingless and endless) and occurs solely by virtue of being vitally alive – being dynamically here at this particular place in infinite space at this very moment in eternal time as a sensuous, reflective flesh-and-blood body only – and thus dependent upon no one, no thing, and no event).

Your follow-up email – reproduced here as #161xx above – unambiguously indicates you are indeed [quote] ‘applying the method correctly’ [endquote] and it quite remarkably reminded me of certain everyday experiences which occasioned the identity inhabiting this flesh-and-blood body all those years ago to both devise and (successfully) implement what has become known as the actualism method.

What the question ‘How am I experiencing this moment of being alive?’ – which ‘he’ formulated back in early 1981 – meant to ‘him’ was ‘Why is that experience not happening at this very moment?’ or ‘What is preventing that way of being here occurring right now?’ or ‘How come that wondrous world is not currently apparent?’ (and so on and so forth).

By thus being vitally interested – with that degree of fascinated attentiveness – in this moment being the only moment ‘he’ was ever alive it soon became a wordless approach, a non-verbal attitude towards life, each moment again, and ‘he’ readily developed the knack of allowing apperception to happen as it is never not this moment (as in ‘time has no duration’/ ‘time does not move’) in actuality.

(The experiential knowledge that this moment is eternal – that it is never not this moment in actuality – is the key to more instances of apperceptive awareness taking place).

Now that you indubitably know what apperception is – as per your ‘It was undoubtedly an experience of apperception’ sentence – and how to evoke it (as in your ‘Then as I stuck with that seeing that it was this moment of being alive I was pulled towards it. The pull itself was exhilarating and thrilling’ sentences) you may very well come to look back upon this day as being the turning-point of your life, eh?

Ain’t life grand!



‘I’ think and feel that ‘I’ am so important that ‘I’ must live forever. It is a pernicious belief with its roots buried deep in self-importance and self-aggrandisement. It is where conceit meets arrogance and become meekness and humility … and seeks its post-mortem reward.

‘I’ will do anything to survive.