These are ongoing notes on my attempts to deliberately induce a PCE as well as tap into pure intent and have it inform everyday life.

RICHARD: Incidentally, just before/ just as the PCE starts to wear off, if one unravels (metaphorically) a ‘golden thread’ or ‘clew’, as one is slipping back into the real-world, an intimate connection is thus established betwixt the pristine-purity of an actual innocence and the near-purity of the sincerity of naiveté.

Sep 14, 2022 (contemplation)

While contemplating Never not this moment 1

  • Can immediately taste the “arriving here” of PCE reports (aka. stillness)
    • Music is raw; visual ambiance is getting to be brilliant … all the while happening more in the now-still “arena”
      • The concomitant stillness is very palpable; revealed via the cessation of hitherto-existant “movement”
      • It is the “moving” (in time) Identity that obscures it all otherwise.
  • Ergo, stillness, as I experienced in a PCE, is a clew.
  • The clew (or the end of it that is close to the PCE) is accessed by seeing (via contemplation and curiosity) if this moment is the same 1 (over time), with only events on it changing (over time).
    • Otherwise, that which appears to be changing “behind” is the Identity
      • Realizing (successfully ‘seeing’) it not to be changing ▶️ identity going into abeyance

Sep 16, 2022 (haietmoba)



Oct 09, 2022 (silliness)

[..] I do find that simply declining to go down those lifestyle choices/ feeling narratives is enough [to sustain a mood of feeling good]. I now have a very simple mood journal, where I do nothing but track ‘feeling good’ vs ‘feeling $x’ at various times. A simple noticing of feelings is enough; then all I have to do is say “Oh yea, that’s not the right path” and then stop walking further down that path. [..]

“Before applying the actualism method – the ongoing enjoyment and appreciation of this moment of being alive – it is essential for success to grasp the fact that this very moment which is happening now is your only moment of being alive.” and “As one knows from the pure consciousness experiences (PCE’s), which are moments of perfection everybody has at some stage in their life, that it is possible to experience this moment in time and this place in space as perfection personified” are why (in addition to being aware of affective ongoing; as I gather with the help of a journal activity) it is possible that a “simple noticing of feelings is enough”

Oct 12, 2022 (method)

It became possible to make the choice to get back to feeling good, and I am understanding how exactly: The choice to be happy.

Nov 7, 2022 (Appreciation)

[in ctx of Vineeto’s appreciation advice]

Appreciating simply being alive. Never mind appreciating the cherries on top (material comforts, etc). Is that possible? Fascinating.

Nov 20, 2022 (discernment of Affective Vibes)

RICHARD: I will take this opportunity to stress just how vital this matter of affective vibes is, in regards to successful actualism practice, as it is central to the ‘feeling harmless’ aspect of such practice [..] inasmuch the whole point is the minimisation – and the ultimate cessation via extirpation of ‘being’ itself – of any malicious feelings and, thus, their resultant transmission as affective vibes throughout the human psyche.

It has got me beat how anyone can spend years and years reading and writing, to forums such as this, about actualism practice (and its aims or goals) yet all the while be ignorant of or ignoring the central feature of such practice … to wit: the transmission and the reception of the many and various affective feelings which make-up a feeling-being.

RESPONDENT: When not face to face, I own my own feelings rather than project them onto others …

RICHARD: If (note ‘if’) the identity inhabiting this flesh-and-blood body circa 1980-81 was projecting ‘his’ feelings, through the closed door of ‘his’ ex-farmhouse, then ‘he’ would have felt a feeling of joie de vivre, just prior to opening the front door of ‘his’ home, despite the at-that-moment-unknown presence of a fuming wife on the other side (pacing up and down, in the front room, ready and willing to give ‘him’ an unwarranted serve for imagined slights she generated as her earlier good mood spiralled into negativity in ‘his’ absence).

It was by virtue of being observant thataway, above, that ‘he’ was then able, over the ensuing years, to become aware not only of many more instances of similar ilk but of the far-deeper, longer-ranging and more-powerful ‘psychic currents’/ ‘psychic energies’ (which we have not even mentioned in this exchange) that lie underneath/beyond the affective vibes.

Dec 3, 2022 (Sincerity)

Separating out facts from fiction (eg: Belief) is key. To be sincere is to stay close to what is factual; to be that.

Jan 15, 2023 (Priority; humanity -> pure intent)

I really have been procrastinating all these years, with one leg in humanity. Given that there are no other alternatives in humanity here (short of addiction/distraction), actualism is the only appealing option now. No. 1 priority, as it is said on the website. I’m arranging my life matters to that end [..]. Put my affairs in order, so I can spend maximum energy in the method (enjoying and appreciating come what may) and thereon to the final process, while relegating the various petty concerns to be not worth paying attention to.

[..] priorities are becoming much clearer to me now. No longer do I need to look for “connections” of some sort [..]; I can actually be happy with my own lifestyle/ hobbies/ preferences [..]. That, plus satisfying work [..] that pays for a good lifestyle is enough. All that’s left to do at this point is to become free; go gung-ho on actualism … boots and all approach.

(cf. Death contemplation)

Richard: Put succinctly: the moment (this moment) in which event ‘A’ happens is the exact same moment (this moment) in which event ‘B’ happens … it is only the events which change/move/flow and not the moment itself (eternity).


RICHARD: G’day No. 44,

Your initial email – reproduced here as #161xx further above – almost prompted me to write a comment, when you posted it, as it clearly pinpoints the difference between a caused/ conditional enjoyment (‘I had a lot of fun tonight with friends’/ ‘all we did was sit, talk, and joke around’) and an uncaused/ unconditional enjoyment (‘the fascination that it is this moment sets in’/ ‘I am once more enjoying life’).

(A caused, or conditional, enjoyment and appreciation has a beginning and an end – it is dependent upon situations and > circumstances – whereas an uncaused, or unconditional, enjoyment and appreciation is perpetual, aeonian (beginingless and endless) and occurs solely by virtue of being vitally alive – being dynamically here at this particular place in infinite space at this very moment in eternal time as a sensuous, reflective flesh-and-blood body only – and thus dependent upon no one, no thing, and no event).

Your follow-up email – reproduced here as #161xx above – unambiguously indicates you are indeed [quote] ‘applying the method correctly’ [endquote] and it quite remarkably reminded me of certain everyday experiences which occasioned the identity inhabiting this flesh-and-blood body all those years ago to both devise and (successfully) implement what has become known as the actualism method.

What the question ‘How am I experiencing this moment of being alive?’ – which ‘he’ formulated back in early 1981 – meant to ‘him’ was ‘Why is that experience not happening at this very moment?’ or ‘What is preventing that way of being here occurring right now?’ or ‘How come that wondrous world is not currently apparent?’ (and so on and so forth).

By thus being vitally interested – with that degree of fascinated attentiveness – in this moment being the only moment ‘he’ was ever alive it soon became a wordless approach, a non-verbal attitude towards life, each moment again, and ‘he’ readily developed the knack of allowing apperception to happen as it is never not this moment (as in ‘time has no duration’/ ‘time does not move’) in actuality.

(The experiential knowledge that this moment is eternal – that it is never not this moment in actuality – is the key to more instances of apperceptive awareness taking place).

Now that you indubitably know what apperception is – as per your ‘It was undoubtedly an experience of apperception’ sentence – and how to evoke it (as in your ‘Then as I stuck with that seeing that it was this moment of being alive I was pulled towards it. The pull itself was exhilarating and thrilling’ sentences) you may very well come to look back upon this day as being the turning-point of your life, eh?

Ain’t life grand!

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  • Sidetracks

    Things that are not central to my goal in Clew, or are not simple enough to warrant further attention … but still nevertheless worth tracking as a reminder of what sidetracks and unnecessary tangential explorations are possible.